Russia Bans 'Propaganda' Against Having Children

The world’s population is more than 8 billion and has increased by 2 billion since 1998. In some countries, so many children are being born that there’s a dire shortage of midwives, prompting a big push among politicians and others to recruit more midhusbands.

But the situation is quite different in countries like Russia, where falling birthrates are causing great concern. 

President Vladimir Putin: “Children! We must produce more children. I’d do it myself, but I’m 72.”

Prime Minister Mikhail Mishustin: “Seventy-two is still young. Look at Al Pacino. He is 84 and had a son just last year when he was 83.”

Putin: “Eighty-three. That gives me nine years to find the right pills.” 

The lower house of Parliament in Russia recently approved a bill that would ban any kind of “propaganda” that discourages Russians from having children. 

As the New York Times reported, this bill, which is expected to be passed in the upper house of Parliament and signed into law by Putin, would apply to “material on the internet, in media outlets, in movies and in advertising that portrays child-free lifestyles as attractive.”

If you’re a parent in Russia, you’d better start practicing being as positive as possible about your children. Here are just three of the questions you might get from people and the answers you could provide:

QUESTION: Isn’t it expensive to raise kids these days?

ANSWER: What do you mean? Kids actually save you money. When I lost my glasses, who do you think found it? One of my kids. When our house was on fire, who ran back in to save the TV? One of my kids. When the grocery store prices were too high, who suggested eating Fruit Loops for dinner? One of my kids. 

Q: Aren’t kids a lot of work?

A: No, kids are a total pleasure. My evenings are such a breeze. I just lie on the couch and keep nodding to all their questions: “Mom, can I bring you a drink?” “Mom, can I load the washer for you?” “Mom, can I put dinner in the microwave for you?” “Mom, can I hang up on the telemarketer for you?”

Q: Don’t you wish you could go to the bar on Friday nights instead of staying home with your children?

A: Ha ha! Do you actually think I stay home with my children on Friday nights? No, I drop them off at their grandparents’ house, so I can share the joy of children with the people who convinced me to have them. That’s the kind of selfless person I am.

Photo by Max Titov on Unsplash

Russia’s population will decline by half a million this year, according to independent demographer Alexey Raksha. For the last eight years, the death rate has exceeded the birth rate.

“Everything that needs to be done to increase birth rates must be done,” Kremlin spokesman Dmitri S. Peskov said recently. “And everything that obstructs that must disappear from our lives.”

Couples who do not have children may soon be receiving a letter from the government.

“Dear Anatoly and Irina, you have been married for 20 years and, we are noticing, still no contribution to population growth. We talked to your relatives and they say, ‘Anatoly and Irina are happy with their three dogs.’ Dogs are nice, but it is hard to get them to invade other countries. We need young men and women who are willing to fight for their country, contribute to our economy and keep building a strong Russia. That’s why we urge you to read the enclosed booklet entitled ‘It’s Never too Late’ by Al Pacino. If you are not successful, that is okay. You may consider adopting a few from your next door neighbors, Boris and Olga, who have agreed to have 12 for the sake of Russia.”