Put Your Country First and Rake in the Dough

How much would you pay to have dinner with the leader of a country and get a tour of the leader’s official residence?

Most leaders, once they’ve been sworn into office, would consider it unseemly and unethical to offer such opportunities. But Donald Trump has not had any shame since at least 1979. That’s why the leading buyers of his cryptocurrency will get a private dinner with him, while the very top bidders will get a tour of the White House. And who knows, if they slip him an envelope filled with cash, they may get to spend a night in the Lincoln Bedroom. Another envelope might get them a bedtime story from Trump. A third envelope might get them a presidential snuggle, but that would be really pushing the envelope.

White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt defended Trump’s actions, saying at a press conference: “I can assure you the president acts with only the interests of the American public in mind, putting our country first and doing what’s best for our country. Full stop.”

It’s really fortunate for Americans that Trump always does what’s best for America. This is what all leaders should do: put their countries first by making as much money as possible while in office. If Trump can do it, why not others?

Trump is a businessman, but he has always considered himself a celebrity. And many celebrities, including actors, musicians and athletes, are not averse to making money in a variety of ways, beyond their chosen careers. On the website Cameo.com, for example, you can pay a celebrity to record a personalized video message for a birthday, anniversary or other occasion. If your husband is a big fan of Chuck Norris, you can get a personalized birthday greeting from Norris for $450. Some celebrities put a lot of effort into these short videos, making the recipient feel really special. One day, you’re just an ordinary person, one in eight billion roaming the earth; the next day, Chuck Norris knows you exist.

Photo by Blogging Guide on Unsplash

Of course, if you’re really wealthy, you can get celebrities to appear at birthday parties and weddings, as the billionaire couple Mukesh and Nita Ambani have done. You can even get former leaders like Bill Clinton and Boris Johnson to show up at your wedding and act like they’ve known your family since the poor days. (The poor days were when you had to share the Rolls Royce with your siblings.)

Trump is just acting like a celebrity, but with the added benefit of putting America first. So maybe Prime Minister Narendra Modi can put India first and give people the opportunity to bid on a special yoga session with him. The highest bidder would get a special tour of the bachelor pad at 7, Lok Kalyan Marg.

British Prime Minister Keir Starmer can auction off the opportunity to sit beside him as he watches his favorite Premier League football club, Arsenal, lose to Liverpool. The highest bidder would get a special tour of 10 Downing Street. (Please don’t blame former occupant Rishi Sunak for any lingering curry smells. Starmer loves Indian food too.)

But wouldn’t this be considered a form of corruption? Not if you put your country first, like Donald Trump is doing. You may think that Trump is just enriching himself, making billions of dollars from his meme coin and other schemes, but what he’s really doing is raising the average income of all Americans.

You may think that Trump would be beholden to the highest bidders, that they’d be able to get special favors from him. But do you really believe that if Microsoft’s Satya Nadella spends $1 million on Trump’s meme coin, but Google’s Sundar Pichai declines to make a bid, Trump would display Microsoft’s logo on the wall of the White House? No way.

That would cost a lot more than $1 million.