The Daily Mirror in Britain recently sent out a heat alert that sparked laughter around the world: “UK to be blasted by 48 hour 26C heatwave with five cities in England the hottest.”
People in India were quick to respond on social media: “26℃ is not a heatwave. That’s what we call ‘winter.’”
It’s not quite winter, of course, but 26℃ (about 79℉) is a very comfortable temperature, especially compared to the real heatwave that’s currently scorching parts of North America, North Africa, the Middle East and South Asia.
How hot is it?
It’s so hot in New York City that many kids are immersing themselves in public pools and many police detectives are immersing themselves in cold cases.
It’s so hot in New Delhi that apartment dwellers are able to boil water for rice in just one minute — slightly longer when there's no power outage.
It’s so hot in Dubai that people are going on vacations to New Delhi.
In Saudi Arabia, temperatures have reached 50℃ (122℉), which, according to the World Meteorological Organization, is just 25 degrees less than the highest temperature ever recorded in hell.
Teenage girl: “Why the hell is it so hot?”
Mom: “Stop using the word ‘hell.’ If you keep saying hell, you will end up going to hell!”
Teenage girl: “Why the Taylor Swift concert is it so hot?”
Mom: "I don’t know. Global warming? Maybe it's because your dad drives a car that’s wider than Sri Lanka.”
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Heat waves are nothing new, so we can’t blame it all on global warming, but there’s no question that average global temperatures are rising gradually and the polar ice caps are melting faster than ever. Even more conclusive, from 1974 to 2024, scientists in New York City recorded a sharp rise in the number of people saying, “F@%# this weather!”
Perhaps it doesn’t surprise folks in Iceland, but many people prefer cold weather to hot. Just ask Ronald, a middle-aged man in Chicago. “When it’s cold, I can wear more clothes,” he said. “When it’s hot, what can I do? I can’t take off my skin. All I can do is walk around with no clothes and hope that the police arrest me and put me in jail, where I’ll have air conditioning.”
I wouldn’t advise anyone to wear no clothes, but there are certainly things you can do to stay cool in the hot weather. Here are just a few:
Use an air conditioner or fan. If you do not have an air conditioner, go to your bathroom, grab your hair conditioner and delete the ‘h.’ Then splash it on yourself whenever you’re hot.
Wear minimal clothing outdoors, and even less indoors. Make sure your clothing is both light and light-colored. Don’t wear three layers just to be fashionable, unless you’re trying to catch the eye of a doctor in the emergency room.
Keep your curtains, drapes or blinds pulled or closed during the day. This not only helps to keep the sun out, it also keeps neighbors from seeing what clothes you’re not wearing.
Drink lots of fluids. This does not mean you should make several trips to the liquor store. Just one will do. But make sure you’re hydrating mostly with water. The Centers for Diseases Control advises that you drink one cup (8 ounces) of water every 15 to 20 minutes if you’re working outdoors, and one cup every 90 minutes if you’re watching your spouse work outdoors.
Avoid using appliances that produce heat, such as your stove, oven or dryer. If you have the urge to do some baking, just go outside and lie in the sun.
People often mention carbon emissions from cars without realising that jet aeroplanes are a far greater concern.