It’s graduation season at many colleges around the world, a joyful period when millions of students achieve their dreams of earning degrees and their parents achieve their dreams of not paying tuition anymore.
I’d like to take a moment to congratulate all the students receiving degrees, whether they’re male or female; human or feline.
Yes, at least one cat is receiving a degree this year. Vermont State University Castleton Campus is awarding an honorary degree to a friendly cat named Max. He will be the first-ever recipient of a “Doctor of Litter-ature” degree.
Max lives near the university with his owner Ashley Dow and often visits the campus, where he enjoys being petted by students and staff.
"With a resounding purr of approval from the faculty, the Board of Trustees of the Vermont State Cat-leges has bestowed upon Max Dow the prestigious title of Doctor of Litter-ature, complete with all the catnip perks, scratching post privileges, and litter box responsibilities that come with it," the university said on social media.
The awarding of this honorary doctorate raises many questions, including these:
Does a “Doctor of Litter-ature” degree entitle Max to anything? Yes, Max is now eligible to win the Purr-litzer Prize. He can also give lectures in litter-ature around the world, teaching cats how to properly use litter boxes and humans how to use litter bins.
Is Max the first four-legged animal to receive an honorary degree? No, a number of other animals have received honorary degrees. Last June, for example, the University of Maryland, Baltimore (UMB), presented a group of service and therapy dogs with honorary “dogtorate” degrees. Loki, a therapy Rottweiler, received a Dogtorate of Medicine; Kylo Red, a goldendoodle, received a Dogtorate of Pharmacy; and Kiera, a labradoodle, received a Juris Dogtor degree. Kiera has since received an honorary physical exam from Loki, an honorary Covid booster from Kylo Red, and has filed an honorary lawsuit against them both.
Before qualifying for honorary dogtorate degrees, did they have to first get honorary bark-alaureate degrees? No, they just had to bone up on some dogma.
Has an animal ever received a degree that wasn’t “honorary”? Yes, at least a few have done so. In 2004, a cat named Colby Nolan was awarded an MBA from Trinity Southern University in Dallas. No, this wasn’t a master’s in banister antics. This was an actual master’s in business administration. But Trinity Southern was not an actual university. It was a diploma mill, handing out degrees for cash. According to Wikipedia, undercover agents working for the Pennsylvania attorney general’s office submitted an application on behalf of Colby (along with a $299 fee), claiming that the cat had “taken courses at a community college, worked at a fast-food restaurant, babysat, and maintained a newspaper route.” Based on this experience, university officials said that Colby was eligible for an executive MBA. All he had to do was pay $100 more, and instead of climbing banisters, he’d be able to climb the corporate ladder.
Did Colby put his executive MBA to good use? Yes, it helped him land a cushy job as a CEO (couch exploration officer).
Do the animals with degrees have any advice for graduating students? Yes, here is their advice:
Max, Doctor of Litter-ature: “Don’t work like a dog. Dogs hardly work, and pretty soon, your career will have gone to the dogs.”
Loki, Dogtor of Medicine: “Don’t take too many catnaps. That would be a career catastrophe.”
Kylo Red, Dogtor of Pharmacy: “Don’t get discouraged if you’re an underdog. Being an underdog is better than being an undercat. Remember: every dog has its day.”
Kiera, Juris Doctor: “You have an education now. Don’t do dumb stuff, like forgetting to feed your dog.”
Colby, MBA: “I got my MBA in 2004. Do you really think I’m still alive?”
Well, at least they've got the "shake" part down, as they receive their diploma at graduation.